Anger As A Cover-up for Shame

Frequent explosive anger can cause a great deal of havoc in relationships, both personal and professional.  Angry people find themselves increasingly isolated. Other people do not want to be near someone who is likely to become hostile or filled with rage.

Families and friends eventually get sick and tired of walking on eggshells with you to avoid getting hurt. The tension and hostility causes frustration and resentment in the very people who you want to support and love you.

You may find yourself the labeled as a ‘bad-tempered person’. And you may also somehow have the sickening feeling that this ‘character flaw’ of yours is going to be stuck with you forever. But the truth is this is not who you really are.

Explosive anger actually comes from a deep sense of powerlessness, inadequacy, and despair, which is another description for shame. The anger outbursts are just a cover-up to avoid feeling shame.
Shame is often initially created when you were hurt and wounded by people who were important to you in some way. As a child, you could have been humiliated and treated disrespectfully in some way. Shame builds up across time and leads to the global belief of "I am unworthy. I am unlovable. I am bad. I am not good enough."

Such beliefs create enormous tension and the accompanying anxiety that you will be ridiculed when found out. When you are imprisoned by shame, the perceived flaws within yourself are so humiliating that you will go to extreme lengths to hide them. Like flaring up at another person to get them to back off!

It is essential to understand that you were not responsible for the shaming that happened to you as a child, since children naturally believe all that their parents, grandparents, and teachers tell them. However you do have responsibility as an adult now to change those untruths you have unconsciously believed in for so long.

Your anger affects not only your life, but the lives of others as well, especially that of your children. If you are unhappy with the isolation that was brought on by your explosive streak, you can heal those relationships by first healing yourself of those shame-based memories. Once your memories are healed, you will begin to treat yourself and those around you with more compassion. What used to trigger rage in you will no longer affect you the same way.

Introduction

Do you find it hard to get your partner commit to your relationship?
Do you attract the same abusive relationship again and again?
Do you find it difficult to get close to someone?
Is your partner threatening to walk out of your relationship?
Are you always in conflict with your family members, colleagues or superiors?
Do you feel undervalued by the significant people in your life?

The above problems all have one thing in common. You guessed it. They all have to do with unloving relationships.

But do you know what the root cause of all these problems are?

Your unloving relationship with yourself.

Why do I say that?

The most important relationship you will ever have is the one that you have with yourself. You are with you all the time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The relationship you have with yourself is the foundation from which every other relationship you have is built. You will not be able to have healthy relationships with other people until you have a loving relationship with yourself.

Perhaps you are struggling with this concept. After all, you have been ingrained with this age old belief “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself”. You have been told that you should always put other’s interest above yours and it is wrong to love yourself. The emphasis has always been on ‘loving the neighbor’. Anytime you try to love yourself you become paralyzed with shame and guilt.

But if you understand this at a deeper level, you will realize what this means is that you will only love your neighbor as much as you love yourself. If you love yourself only a little, you will also love your neighbor a little. Didn’t God himself tell us to “Love others as much as we love ourselves”?

You know you do not love yourself very much if your mind contains these beliefs:-

I am unlovable

I am insignificant

I am worthless

I am hopeless

I am stupid

I am not good enough

I am unforgivable

I am a failure

I am undeserving

In my coaching sessions, I will teach you how to erase these self-sabotaging beliefs so that you can replace them with those that empower you to create fulfilling relationships.

Traditional psychological methods like psychotherapy and counseling can take years before any significant results can be obtained. The advantage of working with me is that you get to learn cutting edge mind process technologies that dissolve your negative beliefs in as quickly as one session.

Call me today for a free demonstration at 65-96980688. You may also like to send in your enquiries to mindstuffalchemy@gmail.com.

Sincerely,

Evelyn Yeo